In this article we’ve compiled our top tips for you on staying productive in a relationship. The article is updated as we learn new ways to optimize our lives.
Time management & organization
Managing time effectively as a couple is a key to having enough time for the relationship and achieving your personal goals. Let’s look into how you can manage your time and organize your lives better as a productive couple.
Calendar sharing
Sharing each other’s calendars makes it easier to schedule and plan your life together. Planning and remembering trips, date nights and other couple events become much easier – when you can see each other’s plans in the calendar. Not to mention it feels quite nice to be trusted to see each other’s schedule 🙂
As an additional benefit, you’ll have less stress in your life by knowing what’s going on in each other’s life. You both save time and nerves when you can see that long meeting your partner is in and that’s why not answering your Most Important WhatsApp Message ™ in a timely manner.
Use a shared todo app
Being able to have a single source of truth for things you need to do or shop for together can make your life easier.
For example, you could have a shared shopping list where both can push items so when one happens to go to the store or order groceries online they can empty the list.
Tackle home tasks smarter
If financially feasible, you should consider hiring a helper/cleaner to clean the house once a month.
A common argument that can create long-term bitterness in a relationship is the unpaid labor around domestic chores “I do everything at home and s/he does not do anything/enough”. Hiring a helper is a practical way to minimize such arguments. Then, share the remaining chores in a smart way so you both get to do what you don’t hate too much. For example, the lady might not want to clean the toilet but does not mind doing the dishes. And the guy might hate doing the dishes but is ok with the toilet cleaning. Doing fewer chores also leads to more quality time together and more time left for productive pursuits.
Hiring a helper and sharing the remaining tasks minimize conflict and maximize happiness, thus, it is a practical way to increase productivity.
Dedicate space for work
It can be beneficial to have a dedicated workspace at home. Creating a distinctive environment and vibes for work and for play lead to better productivity. For example, it can be hard to focus on work on the sofa where you normally watch Netflix and relax.
Optimizing the relationship
Optimizing different aspects of your relationship can give you huge gains on productivity. Also it can help you as a couple to keep you happier and deepen your relationship.
Argue better
One of the worst time-wasting aspects of a relationship are badly handled arguments. Often the argument itself can take a lot of time and could have been avoided by understanding each other better. Additionally, a bad argument usually triggers a plunge in productivity caused by you both feeling miserable with no motivation for productive pursuits.
To argue better and less, it is key to understand each other’s life priorities and goals outside the relationship. For one partner, it might be running their own startup which demands a lot of time and is high on their life priorities. Whereas the other half might be in a comfortable 9-5 job where work is not such a high priority in their life.
Understanding and communicating each other’s commitments outside the relationship makes it easier to detect when the other half is under a lot of external stress. Such stress often affects behaviors in the relationship and might create misunderstanding and lead to unnecessary arguments. It is good to remember that it is not always about the relationship nor about each other.
A great way to get aligned on different aspects of your relationships is to read The 8 Dates book and go through the 8 dates with your partner. Each date focuses on a different part of the relationship and helps you understand each other.
Another book to learn to argue better is Difficult Conversations, which teaches you how you can better see the argument from both parties’ eyes and argue in a less destructive manner.
Making sex priority
There is a lot of research on the benefit of having sex. Let’s highlight some of the key areas.
There is evidence that sex boosts our neurogenesis and neuroplasticity thus improving your memory, cognition and thinking abilities [1].
Sex is found to lead to positive hormonal changes that enhance mood, and reduce stress and help with sleep [2][3]. We see also a correlation between regular sex and more deep sleep, which will definitely push your productivity to new levels.
It is shown that having sex can make you more resistant to disease by boosting your immune system. So in theory having more sex will result in you having more healthy days which will result in you being more productive. Not to mention it’s not all that bad an activity. [4]
And maybe most importantly, when you are having regular sex, you’re not spending time thinking where to get it. You will have more productive time and don’t waste time on tinder, meaningless dates or browsing porn websites.
Become accountability partners
An accountability partner means that you have someone who reminds you and kicks your butt for the things you want to get done, stop doing, or get better at. Your loving significant other is the best candidate for the role!
One way to make it work is by having a weekly session together to set new goals and to review last week’s goals. To make things more exciting you can set penalties for failing to make your goals. Good penalties can be home chores or having to cover the bill for the next dinner.
This is best done over a nice coffee in an environment that makes you both feel productive and inspired.
Growth mindset
Do monthly or quarterly reviews of your relationship to keep things improving in different areas. Brainstorm together how to improve in different areas. And in light of this post, productivity should be one of the areas you two discuss.
E.g. Do you find you’re watching a lot of Netflix together and then feeling bad after because you could have used that time to build your startup, work on your yoga poses or write that personal blog of yours? Aim to have more quality time together by being mindful of how you spend your precious time together.
Quality over quantity
If you’re both busy, aim for quality time. For example, a deep discussion on your future plans together is much more rewarding than watching Netflix or going to a movie. Netflix and movies can be nice too, but you should be conscious about it and understand that it’s not as intimate as other pursuits you can choose to use your time together for.
[1] https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0011597
[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15961213
[3] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763412000565
[4] https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg16221820-800-can-regular-sex-ward-off-colds-and-flu/
